WARNING! - This article may be dangerous to your
health!
I guess I finally reached the superfluous
information overload point when I purchased a new snowblower last
winter. I have never seen a piece of equipment with so many messages!
Some were quite helpful as they described the functions of the
controls or location of the oil dipstick, etc. The majority however
were warnings of one kind or another that can only politely be termed
as “patronizing”!
I appreciate the fact that there is a fair
number of our populace who are “mechanically challenged”,
and who subsequently presume a screwdriver is a vodka based, orange
flavoured alcoholic beverage which goes nicely with party snacks such
as nuts and bolts. But is there truly a need to advise people, in
both official languages, not to shove any of their appendages or,
heaven forbid, clothing into the revolving snowblower auger? Or to
not shove their hand down the snow discharge chute when the machine
is running? I also have a new garage door opener that boldly cautions
one not to stand under the door when it is closing. Both these new
gadgets came with manuals, the first several pages of which are
either disclaimers or warnings so banal that I would be offended - if
I could read the small print!
In this same vein, I checked the
instructions that came with our grass trimmer. They caution against
immersing it in water or operating it in freezing temperatures. Do
these people think that I’m going to take it swimming with me,
or use it to clear snow off my driveway? My radial saw manual uses a
wealth of ink to advise, “Keep hands away from cutting
area.” Perhaps they envisage me attempting a manicure? Another
gem in this document is the notice, “When using your saw, always
stay alert and exercise control.” I don’t know about you,
but when I operate a radial saw, I am probably the most alert person
on the block, completely aware of the threat posed by the buzzing
teeth and their proximity to my favourite body parts!
Have a look at your appliances and
accompanying instructions for yourself. Check all the
“Warnings”, Cautions”, “Danger”, etc.
notices and question whether the majority are truly
required.
By now, any manufacturer reading these
criticisms would probably be ready to use me as a test dummy.
However, I realize that our dear government’s hand can be seen
in this and that the producers must obey some inane order to plaster
their equipment and publications with this drivel. Of course there is
also the legal aspect. That is, if someone suffers injury and the
manufacturer has not included a warning or caution, then the lawyers
can have a hey-day in the courts. Nevertheless, over the years this
cautionary stream of once valuable information has become a flood! My
big worry is that the really important information for the vast
majority of us with even a smidgen of common sense will get lost in
this plethora of unnecessary advice!
It is my contention that anyone stupid
enough to blithely shove their extremities into moving parts,
electrical outlets or other patently clear hazards is certainly not
going to be deterred by such trivia as written warnings or vivid
graphics. Why can’t politicians accept this fact and let the
rest of us benefit from concise information regarding the operation
of our equipment and appliances? Surprise, surprise! We do have a few
“smarts” and don’t need to be constantly reminded of
the obvious.